why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Never joke about your clitoris.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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