I just saw a hot homeless man
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
