It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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