i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize