i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
