bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
