2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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