New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
