so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
