I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Randomize
