Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I've blown a few things in my day
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
