I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize