Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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