Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Randomize
