he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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