I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
