why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
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