I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
