Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Randomize
