Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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