what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize