I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize