sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
