Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Randomize
