ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
