Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
