Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Randomize
