my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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