And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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