Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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