Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
