So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
