In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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