Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
