hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
