I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
