I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Fuck appropriateness.
the day after is always just damage control
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Randomize
