Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Randomize