If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Randomize
