Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize