She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
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