People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
