Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize
