I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
