so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
