if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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