oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
