You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
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