when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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