I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
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