You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
