Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
