you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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