Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Randomize
