So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Found your dick twin last night
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
wow bdsm is so cute
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
