What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
