My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Randomize
