i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize