it wasn't lemon gatorade
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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