Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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