Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize