you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
