You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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