Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
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