At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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