didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
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